Entry 5 – Day 70

There’s a new flavour! The last two weeks have been great for two reasons:

  1. My body has gotten used to taking pre-Conceive and the very minor digestive disturbances I experienced have settled down completely. I really do feel that this had been my body’s way of clearing itself. I’ve noticed a huge improvement with my cycle and my actual period. My cycle lengths have lengthened and become consistent which I’m very happy about as a good luteal phase (after ovulation) is so important in allowing a foetus to implant and grow. My flow is very good and again this points to my body producing a nice healthy endometrium for the foetus to make its home in.
  2. Pillar Healthcare have changed the formula and added in a new flavour. This was the one thing I had a little difficulty with, the taste. Mark from Pillar Healthcare asked us to try out the new formulation. I’m delighted with this change as I can see such a difference in my health and wellbeing since starting on the product and have thought the flavour may stop people from persevering with the drink. Well, my worry is no more. It’s grand to take now and although I had decided to keep taking pre-Conceive once our trial has been completed to keep up the benefits, this change has copper fastened that decision for me. So happy days!

Our journey over the last three years has had a lot of downs, picking ourselves up, dusting ourselves off and looking for answers and solutions. I have been very lucky in that I’ve had friends who have been very supportive. Some have gone through their own difficulties in starting or continuing a family and some have supported family members and friends. What surprises me is the sheer number of people I know personally facing fertility issues who very quietly get on with it.

I have found talking to friends and family hugely helpful, both in terms of emotional support and also practical support. When I applied to do this trial, knowing I would have to blog about it, I suddenly realised how taboo the subject felt to discuss in public and also the fear I had around how family members, neighbours and extended family would react.

My family were brilliant about it and are hugely supportive, and of course my sisters knew even before I told them. I’m so very glad I’m able now to talk openly with them. Also because I work in the health industry, I can have very open and frank discussions with colleagues so I’m very lucky.

I asked my partner John what he thought about being able to talk about fertility issues and it’s a different experience for him. He finds that culturally, it’s not acceptable for him to talk about this. He again has friends who have been through infertility and he receives huge and heartfelt support from them. But he feels the taboo more strongly than I do, because lads are happier talking about football and so on, and find it difficult to talk about how they are feeling.

Mark in Pillar Healthcare told me that the UN has said one in four couples between the ages of 27 to 49 are diagnosed as infertile.

We need to be able to talk about this! I describe waiting for a positive result each month, month after month as a special kind of “crazy”. It’s hard to put into words the pain that we have felt. Each time we have to pick ourselves up again, get positive and “try” again.

Years have passed by and we have gotten older and we just wish we had met and fallen in love when we were much younger but that didn’t happen. As a couple we love each other and we want to pass that love onto our children. We don’t know yet it if that will happen.

The emotions and the pain can become unbearable and I believe the only way through is in reaching out to the people we love and allowing ourselves to be supported. We can only do this is by overcoming the fear of talking about our situation AND talking about it. It’s a lot of pressure to only have each other’s support. We are very lucky we can reach out to friends and family and we would both like to say a big thank to them.

Continue to page 6 for the Final Entry in Victoria’s Diary…